You’re on a date. The conversation is flowing. Then – silence. You’re both staring at your drinks, desperately searching for something to say. The awkwardness is palpable.
Running out of things to say is one of the most common dating fears. But it doesn’t have to happen.
In this article, we’ll give you a conversation catalyst – a set of questions and topics that keep the conversation flowing naturally.
SUBHEADING: The “Conversation” Formula
Good conversation isn’t about being witty or clever – it’s about being curious. When you’re genuinely interested in the other person, the words come easily.
Here’s a formula:
- Ask a question.
- Listen to their answer.
- Ask a follow?up question.
- Share something about yourself that relates.
- Repeat.
SUBHEADING: The “Go?To” Questions
Here are 10 questions that spark great conversation:
- “What’s something you’re really excited about right now?”
- “What’s the most interesting thing you’ve learned recently?”
- “What’s a hidden talent you have that most people don’t know about?”
- “If you could travel anywhere tomorrow, where would you go?”
- “What’s the best piece of advice you’ve ever received?”
- “What’s a fear you’ve overcome?”
- “What’s something that always makes you laugh?”
- “What’s your favorite way to spend a weekend?”
- “What’s a goal you’re working toward?”
- “What’s something you’re grateful for today?”
SUBHEADING: The “Deep Dive” Questions
If the conversation is going well, try these deeper questions:
- “What’s something you’ve never told anyone?”
- “What’s a moment that changed your life?”
- “What do you think your younger self would think of you now?”
- “What do you want your life to look like in 10 years?”
- “What’s a relationship lesson you’ve learned the hard way?”
SUBHEADING: The “Escalation” Technique
When you feel the conversation stalling, escalate:
- From surface to feeling: “You mentioned you love hiking – how does it feel when you’re on the trail?”
- From past to future: “You’ve traveled a lot – where do you want to go next?”
- From them to you: “You said you love cooking – I’m terrible at it. Any tips?”
SUBHEADING: The “Conversation” Myth – You Don’t Need to Be a Natural
You just need to be curious.
Your next step: Memorize 3?5 of these questions before your next date. Practice them until they feel natural.
If you want a guided “Conversation” cheat sheet, I’ve created a free one.
