Dating in the age of apps is confusing. There is too much advice out there, and a lot of it is just wrong. Some of it is old. Some of it is well-meaning. Some of it was never true to begin with.
Here are six of the most common myths about online dating, and what actually works.
Myth #1: You Have to Be Super Attractive to Get Matches
This is completely false. I see it all the time. Guys with average looks, average jobs, and average lives are getting more matches than guys who look like models. Why? Because they’re showing personality.
What Actually Works:
The most attractive thing you can do is show who you are. If you look like a person with a life, a sense of humor, and a good heart, people will be interested.
Myth #2: You Should Never Double-Text
The advice is usually pretty blunt: “Never double-text. It makes you look desperate.” But that’s a bit simplistic.
What Actually Works:
Double-texting is fine if it’s intentional. Send a follow-up message after a few days if she never replied. Keep it low-pressure. A second text isn’t a crime. It’s only bad if you’re sending three, four, or five unanswered messages. One follow-up is okay.
Myth #3: You Should Wait 3 Days to Text Back
This is outdated advice from the 90s. Nobody waits three days to reply to a text anymore – especially not in a dating context.
What Actually Works:
Send a follow-up message within 24 hours of matching. If the conversation is good, don’t play games by waiting. Just keep the momentum going.
Myth #4: You Should “Be Yourself” (The Dangerous Version)
This is the most useless piece of dating advice there is. It’s not that being yourself is bad – it’s that “yourself” might be someone who’s anxious, or shy, or awkward. Not showing your best self isn’t a good thing either.
What Actually Works:
Be a slightly better version of yourself. Show your best qualities. Put your best foot forward. That doesn’t mean lying – it means not leading with all the things you’re insecure about.
Myth #5: First Dates Should Be Impressive
A fancy, expensive, elaborate first date puts a lot of pressure on both of you. It’s hard to know if you actually like each other when you’re worried about the bill or the impression you’re making.
What Actually Works:
Simple first dates are the best. Coffee. A walk in the park. A casual drink. Keep it low-pressure. Let the conversation be the focus.
Myth #6: Women Don’t Want to Be Approached in Person
Online dating has made it easier to approach people, but it has also made people more nervous about approaching people in real life.
What Actually Works:
If you see someone you want to talk to, you can absolutely approach them. The key is to do it in a friendly, low-pressure way. Don’t go in with a pickup line. Just start a conversation, like you would with anyone.
